"Embrace the Suck"

"Embrace the suck" is what I learned today after my visit to the torture chamber or as what I call the basement of my beloved personal trainer, Lisa.

After a long contemplation and introspection about 4 weeks ago, and a notice from Rod that we would be going on a cruise in May, I took a hard look at myself and decided that this fat body is not going to be squeezed into a swimsuit (or bikini, as I wish to wear during the cruise) any time soon. My body screamed immediate action. I noticed that my major problem areas were neatly packaged below my nose. Everything had to be shaped and pulled into some sort of non-flabby existence. STAT! Luckily I had almost 4 months to do this. But the question was, did I have enough willpower to do it? My 46 years of history of using my non-existent willpower told me, NO, it can't be done. It is impossible. I'm doomed to be fat and lazy.

And then, I found Lisa. My personal body shaper savior. I arranged a meeting with her, and she was exactly what I was hoping for...except that she lives in Saratoga Springs, about 1/2 hour from my office.

My first meeting was about how many calories I can eat a day, what to eat, what NOT to eat, how to exercise, how often and what my results might entail at the end.

I learned that I can have a piece of cake in May. I learned that I can eat 5 times a day, 300 calories per meal. I CAN EAT EVERY 2 HOURS! Those were the sweetest news I could have received!

Then came the harsh reality of exercise. The horrible, horrible words, that in fact, I would have to exercise to lose weight. So, I started to work this fact in my mind. Not an easy task I must say. For 46 years I have hated any kind of exercise with ultimate passion. If somebody asks me what I'm passionate about, I can truly say that I'm so passionate about not exercising.

A shift in the universe was coming. I felt it.

But now, after 4 weeks of exercising and happily eating, I feel so much better about myself. Mind you, I haven't had sugar for 4 weeks, which means, I haven't had one headache the whole time. Not one.

I feel my butt is not dragging the floor anymore, I think it is more like hitting my ankles now. I love eating and still hate exercise. But like I learned today, I have to learn to embrace the suck. There is no other way. And get over myself. Oh, and did I mention that I want to lose 20-30 lbs by May 14th? I have already lost 8 lbs. Yay ME!

I promise, I will post a picture of me in a bikini during our cruise. Just wait for it.

The exercise ball-my nemesis that awaits me in the corner of my bedroom, beckoning me to use it. So far, I glance at it with great disgust. I'm sure that by ignoring it, the ball will roll away, deflated and defeated. I'm still waiting...